Friday, April 9, 2010

Loaded Questions...

First of all let me just put it out there. I am turning 39 tomorrow. For the first time. What does this mean to me? Ah it means I am not 40 yet, although from what I understand 40 is the new 30. Sounds nice. But what it really means to me is that my family is going to show me a little lovin. Then again...

The "loaded questions" have begun. Let's start with Ethan. Precious child almost 9. Miracle baby, literally. Several days ago (I will give him prompts for thinking ahead-planner like his father) he says to me "Mom, what do you want for your birthday?". Gee kiddo let me think... This is the point where I magically go off to some tropical island and get a shampoo, pedicure & a sinful drink all at the sametime. Let me also say- I am ALONE. What every SAHM wants is to get away! Why don't men & children understand this? My Sa-Weet dream comes to a screeching halt when the "precious child" says "Mom, how would you like to go to a Portland Pirates game?". Say what? Oh, yes the Portland Pirates. The AHL (minor league) Hockey team from Portland. Well shut my mouth honey, that is what this momma always wanted. To go to a minor league hockey game. Just ask yourself who really wants to go to this hockey game? Guess we are going to a hockey game. Oh and let's hope they embarrass me & put my name on the scoreboard! Happy Birthday Tracey you are the big three niner today! Yippee!!!! Off to loaded question #2. If you thought 1 was bad just keep reading.

I have been married to Martin for 10 years this summer. He knows me and what I want. As a matter of fact he learned very early on before we got married! The first year we were dating the man bought me a set of pots and pans for Christmas. I lost it. I am not ungrateful, they weren't even good pans. Think of Jerry McGuire when I say "You almost LOST me with the Pans". Fast forward to this morning. Less than 24hrs to the big day. He says "What are our plans for tomorrow". I say "Well I guess we are going to a hockey game". He says "No, I mean earlier".  She begins to drift into a dream like state and sees her husband bringing her breakfast in bed & actually doing the dishes afterward. Wake up sister! Then he says "Well I'm bringing home a new Tree & Bush Trimmer so we can prune all these trees and shrubs tomorrow morning".  Well Hot Damn Baby! You know how to treat a girl right. I can't wait to get my hands on the new trimmer. The trees won't be the only thing getting pruned...

If you are wondering where my 16 year old daughter is during this whole thing, let's just say I counted her out a long time ago! When I told her that my birthday was coming up she shrugged her shoulders and gave me the look of and your point is? Nice! This is the same kid who asked me for 2 weeks before her birthday what I was going to do for her. She got a dinner of choice, we gave her a party at the bowling alley for her & 6 friends, she had 4 girls stay the night, I made her a guitar cake, gave her money & decorated the house with balloons & a banner. My gift? Two big brown eyes rolling back in her head as if to say I cannot believe you expect something from me!

Will I get the new laptop that I so desperately need? Yesterday my husband said we needed to separate our "wants" from our "needs". The laptop made my "needs" list. He said my current one would run better if I would "De-frag" it more often & get rid of all that junk. All this coming from a guy who types with one finger. As of right now, I am getting a trimmer.

So my friends I will welcome tomorrow with overwhelming gratitude none the less, mainly because I know the Pink Flamingos won't show until next year...


Amy said...

ROTFLMB off!! sorry to be doing so at your expense but I think I might be living in a parallel universe. I will also be 39 this year...ugh. Let me tell you the top two awful gifts from my hubby that way you can laugh at me too!

-My birthday the first year we were dating...a six pack of corrona and two video games. Uh thank you honey I didn't know I was a 22 year old man. Not to mention I hardly ever drink or play video games.

-My birthday two years a go...ehem a set of cheap pans! They were not even wrapped. Boy was I mad. He turned it around and said I was ungrateful wha wha what? Gee thanks for the set of $40 pans from the GROCERY store across the street.

PS I hope they pull through and suprise you with a great birthday!!!

Tammy said...

OMG!!!! I have my hunny trained now after 9 years. He says "what do you want for your birthday" and I give him a list and tell him to choose several options. But needless to say there isn't a "hockey game" or a "tree trimmer" on my list. And yes, I would lose it too, if he bought me pots and pans, unless I specifically asked for them. I say we take your hubby son and daughter to the hockey game, pay the players off and let them just wail a puc at their collective heads!!!! And then you can say..."wake up, its my birthday and I want a spa getaway, cake, money and scantily clad muscle bound men massaging my feet".

ABCandE said...

I am so sorry Tracey! But unfortunately I can totally relate. I used to LOVE birthdays and holidays, now 8 1/2 years into our marriage...they are the same as any old day. Things used to be so exciting as children, now as adults...blah, blah, blah.

I'm with Amy...I hope they totally surprise you with something special. Happy Birthday! You ARE loved in the blogesphere!

Karen Pedersen said...

Oh my silly, sweet, and hilarious have me in tears (good tears). While we are all on the are my 'favorite' (said with SERIOUSLY DRIPPING SARCASM) gifts from my hubby (love you anyway, Dan the Man!): hunting dog for Valentine's one year and hunting rifle for my birthday. Have a WONDERFUL birthday...leaf blower and all.

Lorrinda said...

Ha ha (laughing with you so you not at you) We live a parallel life! I will be 39 (again) on Tues.

My first birthday gift from my now hubby was a pocket knife (ok it was a "pretty" pocket knife), but seriously? a KNIFE!? I did have to pity the poor guy, afterall he comes from a family of 6 boys, so I sat him down right there and informed him of my 3 "S" rule of gifting women: Sparkly, Scented, or Silky. Sparkly as in rare jewels, not chrome. Scented as in designer spa products or french perfume, not air freshener. And silky as in "you do this right and you'll be happy too". Then I told him that if it gets to sit on any shelf in the kitchen or garage, or has to be plugged in then it probably isn't an appropriate gift for a woman. Men need specific instructions.

Well, I married him despite the knife (he did well on the sparkly), and damn if that stupid little knife isn't the most used item in my purse! But I'll never tell him that, because for the past 11 years he has actully done pretty good in the gifting dept.
I did however, get a coffee maker for Christmas. And for my birthday on Tues we have a date with our accountant :( Maybe it's time for a refresher course?

I am so glad you wrote this, now I know I'm not the only one who actually wants everyone to just disappear on Mother's Day so I can spend the day alone in my tub!

Wouldn't our lives be easier if our families would just read our blogs?

Happy Birthday Tracey!

Stampin n da Hood said...

Whatever you do, just make it a great day, T!
Luff yu!

(oh and on MY 39th birthday, my husband threw me a surprise 40th birthday party...and had to argue with my MOTHer why he was sooo right!)


Anonymous said...

HI, Girl Happy Birthday Love and Miss you Shanna

Katy said...

hmmmm...breaking out in song....SO YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY...nanananananana...IT'LL BE MY BIRTHDAY SOON, YEAH...nanananananana!!! All joking aside I hope you have wonderful day and maybe your dear family has something to SURPRISE you with!!!'re right...I hear 40 is the new 30!!

If it makes you feel 15 year old has asked me what I want and immediately asked me for money to go get barely 10-yr old would've offered to get me "legos" so we could put them together QT will probably wait 'till the last minute and get me something "practical"...I, too, am wishing for a NEW Laptop!!!

lisascreativecorner said...

Happy Birthday Tracey! I hope your day is wonderful, even if it is filled with a hockey game, pruning the trees, and an ungrateful teenager! LOL! Hope you get some time to do something fun for yourself! Maybe go stamp something? *Ü*

April said...

Happy Birthday, Tracey!

Thanks for the chuckle. I'm turning 40 in a few weeks & keep thinking my family should in some way compensate me for reaching this milestone.
They all yawn and roll their eyes. You're not alone.

I hope they have some fabulous surprise planned & were just trying to throw you off the scent. ;)

Gloria said...

Happy Birthday, Tracey! I hope that your day was a little better than a hockey game and some shrub trimming. :)

scrapnstamphappy said...

Happy Birthday!

Just had to chime in...a Christmas gift from my boyfriend in college one year was an ironing board. Not joking. I wish I was. I couldn't believe it. No we aren't married. Never were. Broke up soon after that Christmas, I believe. Guys can be so clueless! Hope you were pleasantly surprised on your birthday. If not, it's your birthday weekend so go do something for yourself just the way you want the day after.

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I live in Maine with my husband and two kids while my oldest is in San Fran attending college. I am happiest with my camera attached to my face or making something crafty with paper. I am going on 9 years as a CTMH consultant, I am a Stamping Royalty Contest Winner and have been published many times in Papercrafts & Stamp It.

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